I was thinking to myself and i was kind of wondering...Is love something that we're born with or something that just ahppens and you just know...or is it a learned trait like something you get used to and it grows on you? People change, and sometimes they grow together, sometimes they grow apart...

If love is just being able to tolerate the other person enough to spend your life with, then that would be a learned thing, and you'd have to work to reach the level of love. Maybe thats it. Maybe feelings are on levels. You start out strangers, then you move up to acquaintances, then you move up to close friends, then you get to where you have a crush on them, then you move up to a relationship, then you move up to love. I might have skipped a step or two, but maybe thats what makes relationships fail...maybe they skip REALLY big steps like strangers to lovers because they're confused. Who knows...i have only theories and bullshit. Give me some feedback on what you all think please...

If you had the power to go back in time and change things about your past, do you think you could handle the power? If everything you did had a reprucussion. If you change one thing no matter how minute the detail, you could change the whole course of history. That is some power. Would you mess it up? I know i would. I've definately had situations i'd rather have avoided. I dont know if id be able to handle a lot of power like that. Even if it wasnt that specific thing, i'm not sure if i'd be the right person for the job. It'll change you...most likely into something you never thought you'd be.

Have you ever thought about your path in life and how easy it would be to become a fuck up. I can imagine myself down the road living in a shitty appartment complex hooked on heroin or some other type of expensive drug...just shitting my life away. It probably wont happen, but i could see how i'd get there. Just as often as you have the opportunityto catch a break in life, you have just as many opportunities to fuck it all up. I used to think that nothing bad would happen to me because i've been so fortunate and because i have a great family, but it's always possible depending on the decisions i make in life. I hope i catch some breaks soon...i kinda have recently, but all in all it was a shitty situation, so it wasnt really a break. Oh well, life goes on...

It seems everytime i get a dream it gets squashed by something stupid on my part. I always fuck shit up. I wish i had a time machine. There is very few times in life that i would actually like to take back things that i've done....I want to take it back.

Karma comes back around. Dont you ever forget that...

Soooooo...i've got a new desire. I want to rebuild a muscle car. I'll atart having money around income tax return time. Then of course i'll continue to have money coming in from working, which i can put into the car. Then, when it's done i can sell my truck and drive my badass new vehicle. Only problem is that i have no clue where to look for a car like that for cheap. I dont really care what kind of muscle car it is...i was thinking along the lines of a mustang just because theres so many around and they're not that rare, so they wont be too expensive. Then again, if i get something shitty enough anything can be cheap. lol. So if anyone has a family member, or a friend that has an old car like that just sitting around taking up space, i'd be interested. Wish me luck....

How's everybody? Doing well i hope. Me? Life's kinda been kicking me in the balls lately. Don't get me wrong, i havnt been miserable, but theres room for improvement...

I want to sell my truck and get a muscle car, but after talking with my mom, i realized i should wait till after graduation. If i buy myself a car for graduating that would be sweet. I just need to save up money. Thats my problem...somehow money always escapes my grasp. Im not bad with it, in fact im pretty good with it. I just never seem to catch a break to get myself on my feet. If i could just get on my feet again, i'll be set for at least a little while, but it seems like everytime i get close something happens. Last time it was my brakes ($400). That blew dogs for quarters. Before that im not sure, but i was just proving my point...shit like that happens to me too often.

Exams are coming up soon. I'm awesome at tests...especially if theres a study guide. In fact thats usually what i bank on to get a good grade. I usually get like a C or a D or something low and then get an A on the exams. Thats all from me for now, so goodnight to all and to all a goodnight...